
More Than Music
I love that quote. The week before my senior recital I found it during “stress out moment” in the practice rooms. Plunking away at that same section of music that I had spent hours (and hours upon hours, possibly even DAYS!) practicing, I got frustrated of pouring my mind, body, and everything into something that seemed impossible… and terrifying! I snatched my phone off the shiny black music stand and grazed Pinterest for some inspiration. Everything in me was screaming “YOU’RE NOT GOOD ENOUGH! YOU MESSED UP AGAIN AND WILL NEVER GET IT RIGHT! YOU ARE GOING TO HUMILIATE YOURSELF!” And then I scrolled upon this quote. Suddenly, determination began to creep back in my weary brain. While I was convincing myself that I couldn’t, I should have been trying to show others that I could, and would, and that they could too! How may times had I been inspired by my piano teachers showing me how to overcome obstacles in both music, and in life? Why was I even giving a senior recital? I was giving it so I could be a piano teacher and inspire others.
On one scorching late August day I was overwhelmed, heartbroken, and depressed. My alarm went off signaling me to go to my piano lesson, so I attempted to stop sobbing grab my notebook of music and saunter around the building to my lesson. From the moment I sat on the bench my teacher knew I would be useless in playing that lesson and asked if I wanted to take the the time to discuss my worries. She spent the whole hour encouraging me and giving me reasons not to give up on piano, or myself.
During this past year, I have had several students cry in their lessons. Sometimes it was just a bad day and they finally had someone they could talk to. Other times they were struggling with a section and felt like a failure. Yet other times they were tired and just didn’t want to be in a piano lesson. I get it. I have been there and felt like that too. It isn’t easy to learn how to play the piano, in fact, it’s really really difficult! That’s why I want to teach it. I want to show students that just because something seems hard at first (or second or third…) it doesn’t mean they can’t. Will it take effort? Of corse it will! There are a lot of things in life that take effort, or even seem impossible at times. That just means it requires a different approach, practice, more thought and concentration, or colorful highlighters and stickers. Through each practice time they learn discipline. Through conquering each “tricky bit” in piano the student learns how to overcome failure. Through each confusing piece they figure out how to deal with this confusing life. By overcoming these things others look to them and persevere.
I looked to my piano teachers and was inspired to not give up, and hope to do the same for my students, who do the same for the rest of the world. I don’t want somebody to look at me and say “she makes pretty music” or “that’s a good pianist right there”, I want somebody to look at me and say “I know it hasn’t been easy for you but you did it anyway. You inspired me. Because of you I didn’t give up.”